As I sat at my dusty,battered piano the daunting memories came flying back to me. I rote this song for my wife, Jane it was for her birthday.
When that day came the cords were played Jane was sat next to me playing the song as well , but thoughts days are gone she left me , yet I feel glad that I can still see her in my dreams.
As that memory flies past the death of one more person comes to mind. The war. I was a first aider I nodded to my friend he engaged his riffle and sprinted past the crumbling wall one gun shot to the chest he was down I ran and cradled him in my arms sobbing because there was nothing I could do. I put on a brave face and put him down.(Although I could not bear the sadness).
My grandson reminds me of when I was a boy skipping on my hobby horse around my piano as I did when I was young .
Now my grandson is sitting on my lap to play the last cord of my song.
Wow Owen...how sad but how lovely! Well done, a beautiful piece of writing.Miss Blakeway
ReplyDeleteYes Miss Blakeway,
DeleteI agree, it is a sad story to be honest, it nearly made me cry, however it is also a fantastic story. I think Owen disevers a big pat on the back.
From Yahya at 6d2012.highlawnprimary.net
I thought that was really really amazing
ReplyDeleteYes Michael I agree with you it is amazing also powerfull.
DeleteOwen, brilliant piece of writing. It was like watching the film again. Well done!
ReplyDeleteWe did this in year 5, I found the video so touching that it nearly made me cry. What was your favarite part of the video?
ReplyDeleteMine was when the woman and the man played the piano together, I liked this part because it really touched my heart, and I felt like the old man did not have a good life. i hope you will love this topic as much as I did, just open up your mind and really concentrate on what is happening!
Tegan
www.6d2012.highlawnprimary.net
Hi Tegan I love this topic to my favorite part is when the boy gets the hobby horse.
DeleteHello Owen
ReplyDeleteI think that you did really well in that post. You especially did well with your adjectives 'daunting'. It was amazing.
From your quadblogging buddie Harrison at 6d.2012.highlawnprimary.net
Dear owen,
ReplyDeletewhat an emotional pice of work you have produced, when I was in year 5 we learnt about the piano and we did alot of discriptive writing about it, I enjoyed it did you? I love your use of the word
'daunting' well done, you have also used aBOYS sentence, if you don't know what a boys sentence is, it is a sentence where you use because or but, or, yet and so. However n time, you could use a range of connectives like however, dispite, although.
From Ellie www.6d2012.highlawnprimary.net
Hi its Owen I do enjoy descriptive writing thanks for asking!!! :-)
DeleteDear Owen,
ReplyDeleteThis is such a great story!When I was reading it made me feel like crying. I love the way you mentioned '(Although I couldn't bear the sadness'. This is such a great story but next time you could try a bit better with your spellings.I adore how you have named the characters and made people imagine it in their minds. WELL DONE!
From your quadblogging buddy, Caitlin - www.6d2012.highlawnprimary.net
Dear Own,
ReplyDeleteI really like the how you have used a 2A sentence such as 'dusty,battered piano'. I also like how you have used many adjectives. How long did it take you to write this amazing peice of writting.
From Yahya at 6d2012.highlawnprimary.net/
Hi Yahya it's Owen thank you for your comment.This piece of writing took me about half an hour. :-3
DeleteDear Owen,
ReplyDeleteI like how you have started off you paragraph with 'As I sat at my dusty,battered piano the daunting memories came flying back to me' I like the word 'daunting' I dont know what this word means maybe you could tell me? You have a real tallent thats to write, do you want to be an auther when your older? if you do I will buy one of your books.
From Annalese you quad blogging buddie
www.6d2012.highlawnprimary.net
Daunting means being overwhelmed by something or someone! Thank you for comment.
DeleteDear Owen,
ReplyDeletethat is so sad, I nearly cried, espsially near the part where he can still see his wife in his dreams. You are a great writer and hope to see some more of your stories or poems on the blog. I remember when we watched the vidio in year five. I like how you have used all the parts of the vidio in your poem. I also like how you have used brackets to add extra infomation. Do you hope to be an author when your older? I do!
From Julia.
www,6d2012.highlawprimary.net
Thank you for the amazing comment!!If I get a bit better at writing may be I could become an author.
DeleteHi Owen. That was a wonderful but meloncholy peice of writing. In year 5 we did a peice of writing about 'The piano'. It is a really sad video.
ReplyDeleteWell done Owen I really liked your flashback. Keep it up :0)
ReplyDeleteFrom jack w
Hi Owen!
ReplyDeleteI thought that your flashback was epic, super, awesome and cool!
I'd really love to here more from you!
Oscar :)
Wow OWen you are an amazing writer you are a gifted writer I think you should be in green group if your not already
ReplyDeleteHi Owen. I am Govind. I thought your piece of writing was super! You are definitely a gifted writer. Keep writing you're amazing at it! Well done. :D
ReplyDeleteIf you get chance to, visit my blog:
http://govindchahal.blogspot.com
Hi owen.
ReplyDeleteThis is a very good flashback I loved the bit were you cradle him in your arms some good sentences in there to god work Owen. I would like to see more of your work.
Sammy :>
Wow Owen that flashback story is brilliant you have used good punctuation in there maybe you could use a outside inside sentence next time. But overall brilliant :-)
ReplyDeleteHi Owen, that was a really good piece of writing, I like the adjectives daunting, and some connectives like, although, despite, and loads of others, overall a great story, my only wish is that you try better with your spelling's
ReplyDeleteYour friend Dylan
Owen i think that's a very emotional its such an lovely piece of writing you have used allot of our special sentences and some super sentences in there. You have an amazing talent.
ReplyDeleteAnd if you see it anywhere else, i didn't do it.
ReplyDeleteWow Owen that is amazing. How can you write so well. I love how you used lots of description in your flashback!
ReplyDelete