This is a really exciting story, Beth. My favourite line is "It echoed through the whole house" because it helps build up the suspense and makes me wonder what was going to happen next.
Have a look now at the sentence that begins "It started to stop" - - this sounds a bit strange. Can you think of a different way to start this sentence?
good onnamatapia
ReplyDeletegood paragraph.
ReplyDeletecool 100 wc beth this is a great story
ReplyDeleteThank you Holly you did a great story to. Well done
DeleteThis is a really exciting story, Beth. My favourite line is "It echoed through the whole house" because it helps build up the suspense and makes me wonder what was going to happen next.
ReplyDeleteHave a look now at the sentence that begins "It started to stop" - - this sounds a bit strange. Can you think of a different way to start this sentence?