Aahhgg! The noise was deafening to hear. I hated it, the city was destroyed: all our homes were crushed; our streets bombed; our lives demolished... This has been going on for years - houses gone; food rationing; people dying. I sure hope this war ends soon...
My family are already gone. I had more life to discover, but my baby sister had decades and now she's gone. I'm all alone theres nobody else. I have nobody; no food; no water; no warmth; no shelter. Could life get any worse? I wish that bomb hit another house, other than ours. I wish it took me instead of my family! I see something in the distance. It's coming closer, SOMEONE HELP ME!
BOOM!
Gone...
By Gaby.
Hi Gaby,
ReplyDeleteWhat a dramatic story. You have put in so much detail - well done. You used semicolons well too (I only just learnt how to use them and I am 22!) so good work.
The rhetorical questions really made me think as the reader and I could feel the pain of your character.
Really well done.
Keep writing!
Rachel Wills (Team 100WC)
A very sad situation, I can really feel for your character. Great writing :)
ReplyDeleteHi Gaby - what a moving and powerful piece of writing! You've clearly been busy mastering your top level punctuation - well done, Gaby!
ReplyDeleteMr K :-)