If you see birds coming towards you, run: run while you still can. Do you want to be their next victim?
I am doing this for you so you don't end up like me: dead. Don't give up your precious life to a flock of birds.
Run, run while you still can. You don't have to be the vicious bird's next victim!
By Holly.
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Hello Holly,
ReplyDeleteI see Jade has already checked your story. This is a great idea I think would work well in most classes. :)
What an interesting idea. A ghost tries to warn people. It's a little like the classic story, "A Christmas Carol". In that story Scrooge's old partner, Marley, returns from the grave to warn Scrooge he needs to change.
I can see the care you have taken with spelling and punctuation in your story. This is the sign of a good writer. Well done. :)
I hope you keep entering the 100WC.
Ross Mannell (Team 100WC)
Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia
Hi Holly - I agree with Jade & Ross: this is a super 100wc. As Ross said, you've been so accurate with your spelling and punctuation - well done. I also love the idea of the story being told as a warning. And Jade - a good review and idea for the uplevelled sentence!
ReplyDeleteMr K :-)
Holly,
ReplyDeleteYou have created a darkly mysterious piece of work. It creates an ominous mood and allows each reader to imagine his/her own details. Very nicely done.
Barbara McFall (Team 100WC)
The Phoenix School, Salem, MA USA