Wednesday 5 June 2013

Holly's 100wc - week 33:

The birds swooped down and then everything started to go wrong. People were being murdered. Birds are bad luck. This is the one and only time you will be warned, so listen:

If you see birds coming towards you, run: run while you still can. Do you want to be their next victim?

I am doing this for you so you don't end up like me: dead. Don't give up your precious life to a flock of birds.

Run, run while you still can. You don't have to be the vicious bird's next victim!
By Holly.
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3 comments:

  1. Hello Holly,

    I see Jade has already checked your story. This is a great idea I think would work well in most classes. :)

    What an interesting idea. A ghost tries to warn people. It's a little like the classic story, "A Christmas Carol". In that story Scrooge's old partner, Marley, returns from the grave to warn Scrooge he needs to change.

    I can see the care you have taken with spelling and punctuation in your story. This is the sign of a good writer. Well done. :)

    I hope you keep entering the 100WC.

    Ross Mannell (Team 100WC)
    Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia

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  2. Hi Holly - I agree with Jade & Ross: this is a super 100wc. As Ross said, you've been so accurate with your spelling and punctuation - well done. I also love the idea of the story being told as a warning. And Jade - a good review and idea for the uplevelled sentence!
    Mr K :-)

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  3. Holly,
    You have created a darkly mysterious piece of work. It creates an ominous mood and allows each reader to imagine his/her own details. Very nicely done.

    Barbara McFall (Team 100WC)
    The Phoenix School, Salem, MA USA

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