Hi Alex - what an entertaining, humorous 100wc! You've used some excellent language and a variety of sentence types - this shows that your writing is really developing - well done!
I was also pleased that you didn't try to tell a whole story, but just a snapshot - this is very sensible when you only have 100 words to play with. Mr K :-)
This story seems to be the dilemma faced by parents and teachers everywhere. Something has happened between two children, possibly students or siblings. In comes the adult to find both claim innocence when only one can be. I wonder what might have happened if you were able to complete the story?
You've made good use of the prompt in your entertaining story.I was also impressed by your handwriting skills. Well done.
@RossMannell (Team 100WC) Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia
A really good entry Alex! I really enjoyed the description you used it really sparked my imagination of the egg filling up the room! There was also a good use speech marks to add the story. I wonder what would have happened after this, maybe its something for you to think about? Overall I thoroughly enjoyed reading this (It made me laugh!)
Hi Alex - what an entertaining, humorous 100wc! You've used some excellent language and a variety of sentence types - this shows that your writing is really developing - well done!
ReplyDeleteI was also pleased that you didn't try to tell a whole story, but just a snapshot - this is very sensible when you only have 100 words to play with.
Mr K :-)
Hello Alex,
ReplyDeleteThis story seems to be the dilemma faced by parents and teachers everywhere. Something has happened between two children, possibly students or siblings. In comes the adult to find both claim innocence when only one can be. I wonder what might have happened if you were able to complete the story?
You've made good use of the prompt in your entertaining story.I was also impressed by your handwriting skills. Well done.
@RossMannell (Team 100WC)
Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia
A really good entry Alex! I really enjoyed the description you used it really sparked my imagination of the egg filling up the room! There was also a good use speech marks to add the story. I wonder what would have happened after this, maybe its something for you to think about? Overall I thoroughly enjoyed reading this (It made me laugh!)
ReplyDeleteI thik it woald be easeya to read if you have a differerent font but besides that it was really cool and exiting
ReplyDeleteHi Alex,
ReplyDeleteThis is a great piece of writing,my Favorite bit is when the puddle of strawberry flavored yogurt puddle bit.