Hi Jack - this is a great 100wc - well done! You've used some excellent sentence types, which show how much your writing is developing. One way to improve is to include even more description (eg, of the lava). Don't feel that you need to 'end' the story - it's very difficult to tell a whole story in 100 words! Mr K :-)
Daisy - 100WC, Hi Jack, I'm very impressed with your handwriting! It is very neat! I think you need to take a quick look a a few spelling errors. But I thought your description was very good! Well done!
Daisy 100WC, Hi Jack, I am very impressed with your handwriting, it is very neat! I think you need to look at a few spelling errors, but I think your descriptions were very good! Well done.
Olivia Parkvale school Hastings New Zealand, Hi Jack, I really like your writing. Your handwriting is very good. What is your favourite part of the story? Please make a comment on my blog: http://prideoliviam.blogspot.co.nz/ Keep up the great work. From Olivia
Hi Jack - this is a great 100wc - well done! You've used some excellent sentence types, which show how much your writing is developing. One way to improve is to include even more description (eg, of the lava). Don't feel that you need to 'end' the story - it's very difficult to tell a whole story in 100 words!
ReplyDeleteMr K :-)
Nice story!
ReplyDeleteLove the ending 'I fell in...'
Visit my blog:
http://elenachristopherssas12.edublogs.org/
Elena :)
Daisy - 100WC,
ReplyDeleteHi Jack, I'm very impressed with your handwriting! It is very neat! I think you need to take a quick look a a few spelling errors. But I thought your description was very good! Well done!
Daisy 100WC,
ReplyDeleteHi Jack, I am very impressed with your handwriting, it is very neat! I think you need to look at a few spelling errors, but I think your descriptions were very good! Well done.
Olivia Parkvale school Hastings New Zealand,
ReplyDeleteHi Jack, I really like your writing. Your handwriting is very good. What is your favourite part of the story?
Please make a comment on my blog: http://prideoliviam.blogspot.co.nz/
Keep up the great work.
From Olivia
I thik your story was really exiting and funny.
ReplyDeletethank you everybody
ReplyDelete